i feel so emo!~

hi all! just to express my feelings right now.

since i followed mr Boss to Malacca last December and stayed there for one month without actually cooking n washing n etc, i could conceive and pregnant but unfortunately Allah loves them better than we do.i really could not take it.even until now, i keep on dreaming about them every nights.how i wish our lives would be beautiful n calm when they are actually alive in my womb.losing a baby is already hard and terrifying, how about losing two/three babies in one shot without any notice.plus the difficult time staying at the two hospitals with the doctors and not so gud staff nurses, with the oxygen thing, blood, not able to walk as normal people, difficult to take bath, sit, walk not able to run like i used to be before (played netball, talked loud to students who are naughty, able to give loud commands to students).people will say that be patient, there's always something behind all of these.and i really hope Allah will show me the reasons behind these.

leaving alone in my heart without my babies and husband is quite challenging after the operation.although i have my family, it is sometimes hard to express ur feelings to ur mom n dad since they have other things to take care of. so, it's best to express ur emotions to ur husband.Alhamdulillah there's a technology called emails n chatting.if not, i would be silent in my room expressing my feelings to the teddy bears n pillows every nights.how pathetic is that! ;(

emo right now.but i'll be strong. pray for me oke!!! tq

IIKNFM~